On Friday night August 1st the Jubilee Youth Pilgrims from Killaloe Diocese gathered in Rome to pray in communion and solidarity with the Whyte-Rutledge Family and the communities of Barefield and Maguiresbridge. Stations of the Cross were prayed for this intention. Eternal rest to Vanessa, Sara and James, RIP.
Homily by Bishop Ger Nash, Bishop of Ferns
Dear friends and family of Vanessa, James and Sara here in Barefield Church, the immense crowd standing outside and those joining us from afar on the internet. We begin by acknowledging that we are heartbroken at the tragic and unspeakable loss of three lives with so much to give to the world. Every story and shared memory since their deaths reminds us of the irreplaceable part they played in the lives of their families, their community, their schools, workplaces, teams and clubs. All the conversations have reminded people of their own losses and how the loss for each person is unique and deeply painful. Such a tragic event causes us to ask how God could have a plan that is achieved through the sadness we see around us. We ask the question: “Why?”, and we know there is no easy answer.
Here in Barefield church today with Vanessa, James, and Sara, we are in the land of “I don’t know.” The tragic events of last week, and the ripping away of three people from their family and friends leave us searching for answers and coming back again and again to the only answer that is completely true: “We don’t know.” In that darkness, we remember that in John’s Gospel, Jesus is described as a Light that darkness cannot overpower. Truly, we need that light today, and it is hinted at in the bright colours that Vanessa, James and Sara’s family have asked people to wear. The darkness will not conquer.
But there are things that Vanessa, James and Sara’s family and friends know now that they did not know before. It is true knowledge gathered from people who know deeply how much they have lost.
We know that Vanessa brought immense gifts to her adopted county of Fermanagh, and to her adopted community of Maguiresbridge. She brought this from her family background in Ballyline, from her school time in Barefield and Coláiste Mhuire, and from her very first experiences of farming, animals and nature. She was formed, too, by this great parish of Doora Barefield. We need to tell our visitors from outside the county of Clare that when you see the words “The Parish” in local media, it does not refer to any other of the over 50 parishes in County Clare, but only to this one – it is a measure of the depth of community spirit here that Doora Barefield has appropriated the name “The Parish” to itself, and every other parish and community knows who it refers to. It was this sense of drive for community that Vanessa brought with her and gave to her adopted parish, club, school and community, which has made her passing all the more poignant. She gave that love of her native county and Gaelic games to James and Sara, and they were themselves at the centre of a community of friends in sport, school and all the things that mark the lives of young people. They followed Clare hurlers in good times and bad, putting the rest of us to shame by the length of the journeys they took to attend matches.
The last trip they took was to the Minor All-Ireland in Thurles – from Maguiresbridge to Thurles but by way of Belfast – where James was playing a match earlier. The Whyte family: you know how you are held in your sorrow by the community here in Barefield and in Clare, but also in Maguiresbridge and Fermanagh. At great cost, you have discovered that many people want to walk with you on your journey of pain.
During the past few days, I looked briefly at the condolences on the website RIP.ie. Like all funerals, there were messages from neighbours with the family name given. But there were many, many messages identified by words like “A Waterford Mammy”, “A Cork Granny”, “A Wicklow Mother”, “A Dublin Family.” There were some with both Dads and Mams mentioned, but there were many where a woman spoke from her own heart. They don’t know you, nor you them. But they know your story, and if they hug their teenagers more tightly and call a ceasefire in the perpetual war about tidy rooms, then they have learned that life is precious, and we must be grateful for every day given to us and to those we love. Over and over, I could see that women and mothers, as individuals, reached out in their shock and sadness at the loss of a mother and children, but also conscious that there were heartbroken mothers left behind. The messages highlighted the vulnerability of women to pain inflicted by others and were signs of solidarity in the face of that pain.
We believe, as Christians, that our journey through life is a journey that begins and ends with God, that God has a plan for each of us, even though we often struggle to see it. We know that Christ shared in that life journey, and His life was taken cruelly and suddenly. But we also know that from the very beginning we, as Christians, believed that death was not the end and that we arrive back into the hands of the God who made us. We call it the Resurrection. One of the signposts on that journey, showing us the way to God, is the Sacrament of Baptism. It was here in this church that James, Sara and Vanessa received that Sacrament, and it is heartbreakingly sad that their final farewell from life is in this very same church, just a few feet away from the font in which they were baptized. In a few weeks, Harry Joe, Vanessa’s nephew and James and Sara’s cousin, will be marked for his life journey in the same font.
Because Vanessa was further along on her life journey, it is logical that people have more and varied memories of her. The overwhelming impression from all the memories was of energy and commitment. She encouraged James and Sara in their growing independence as young people but always hovered in the background in case the independence wasn’t working out. As an example, her family spoke yesterday of Vanessa dropping James to Cúl Camp, telling him to get stuck in, but then hanging around the gate of the field with a watchful eye in case it didn’t work out. Their home in Maguiresbridge still has a broken end window from gable-end hurling, not fixed as a reminder to James that actions have consequences and that sliotars break glass!
As we resume our life journey without people who made it special, we ask what we need to do now. We need to acknowledge the personal pain and grief that has fallen on each of us and to recognize that we have joined a community of people who grieve for Vanessa, Sara and James. That community is all over Ireland and crosses all generations. We need to encourage each other to talk often about our absent friends and to seek help and support when the sorrow becomes too heavy. This particularly goes for you who are young friends of James and Sara. Your best tribute to their lives is to take care of your own and your friends’ lives and to truly become the great people God created you to be. And for all of us, to remember that the gifts we have recognized in Vanessa, James and Sara are gifts that are often unused in our own lives. As the first Christians didn’t let Jesus’ work and ministry die with Him, we can keep the memory of Vanessa, James, and Sara alive by sharing our gifts and talents. Let us honour their memory, not just in mourning, but in how we live.
In our shared grief, we find strength in each other, and in our shared commitment, we ensure their legacy endures. Let us walk this journey together, trusting in God’s light to guide us, and let their memory inspire us to live with the same courage, love and joy they brought to us all.
Ar dheis Dé go raibh a n-anamacha dílis. Amen.